Tired Out

I'm tired out from everything.. really really tired.. juz want to get away from everything..

Finally let it all out last night.. but still dun feel much better.. guess an accumulation of stuff can really do serious damage..

Juz wanna let everything go and say sayonara..

Kite and Steel

The string of a kite, when held too tightly will snap, and the kite will be lost forever..

Even the strongest steel, when battered continuously for a long period of time, will show signs of weakness and may crumble..

Juz a thought

Things that do not break me will only make me stronger..

This is what i have come to realise and although these things have made me feel really down and out.. i have become mentally stronger and more ready than ever to face whatever is thrown at me..

Sometimes i have to go through a really rough patch to appreciate the things around me.. and to be able to see clearly what is there in reality..

And even though reality is far from ideal.. i'm definitely not going to give up on my ideals that motivate me.. or i would have succumbed to pressure and lose everything that is me..

Last Thing On My Mind - Ronan Keating and Leann Rimes

Four o’clock in the morning
My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I’m sure you tried to talk it through

Now I see it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives

So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry
Baby, I can’t find the words
But, if I could
Then you know I would, yeah

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me

And now I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

Girl I’m sorry I was wrong
Could have been there, should have been so strong
So, I’m sorry
Whoa~~~

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind (on my mind)

I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
On my mind
On my mind

some thoughts

i no longer want to suppress what i feel.. i shall juz be ME.. i wanna be an open book, where all my likes and dislikes, happiness and unhappiness, anger and frustration, worries and concerns, shall all be plainly seen from my face and actions.. why should i hide my feelings any longer?? will it do me any good??

life is full of ups and downs, and i know that i have to take things in my stride.. but i believe i'm still entitled to feeling down.. and not juz hide everything and pretend tt i'm fine and everything will be ok.. cuz sometimes.. time may not juz make everything ok.. sometimes.. we need to feel really down and out before being able to move on.. yeah

and sometimes i make really bad decisions but i have to live with it..

I've changed

Times have changed, things have changed, and people do change.. yeah.. i realised that i've changed.. is it a good or bad thing?? i'm not too sure myself..

SBIO

SBIO officially ended on sunday after the closing ceremony dinner.. and it is by far the most interesting tournament i have been to! at this tournament, i had learnt lots and gained precious experience, and more importantly, i learnt valuable lessons from the athletes themselves..

and guess who i met?? Teri from Canada, and Kerry from New Zealand!! Was totally surprised to meet them at the competition.. they were in Spore for classification.. and Kerry never mentioned that she would be at the competition la!! I knew that the new zealand team could not come over and so i wasnt expecting anyone from new zealand..

the competition was held over 3 days, and it was an eye-opener for me! there were 9 participating countries, taipei, macau, korea, japan, thailand, malaysia, kuwait, hong kong and singapore.. it is the biggest tournament i have attended so far.. and i had a glimpse of what it is like at a major event.. many different styles of playing and many different languages.. but what was common was their desire to win, their determination and perseverance, and their never-say-die spirit!

i've learnt lots from the other referees.. their steadiness and how they were able to focus completely on ensuring a fair match, and even though we had to stand for hours and referee in consecutive matches, their stamina really amazes me.. they're a fun lot, especially fauzi and zakaria! they never fail to make me laugh with their actions and words!

Although it was mentally and physically tiring.. i truly enjoyed myself at the competition.. and i hope to see all of them again if there is another competition held next year!

There was a Singapore tour organised for the athletes on Sun. The tour brought them to the Spore flyer, Merlion Park and Vivo City.. it was quite fun being a tourist!! too bad i did not go on the flyer as the tix cost 30 bucks!! super ex la.. so in the end fauzi and i juz walked around and were randomly snapping pics.. haha!! the merlion park was super fun.. had lots of fun snapping pics with the hong kong and spore athletes!! totally felt like a tourist la.. brought kerry and fauzi around vivo city and this made me feel like a tour guide.. haha!! from tourist to tour guide la.. wad a huge difference!! but it was fun spending an afternoon with them!! gonna miss them lots la..

Went back to the hotel so that the athletes could rest and change for the closing ceremony dinner.. it was during this dinner that made me realise how fast time passes, and there seems to be a special bonding between all of us.. but we would prob not get to see each other for at least a year?? haiz.. reminded me of my darling frenz in new zealand.. spending 1 semester with them.. but wont be able to see many of them for quite a while.. sigh.. hope they are all doing fine!!

after getting involved with boccia in Dunedin, and now here at the competition in Spore.. i have kinda committed myself to helping out in wadever i can with the local boccia team.. did not realli want to commit myself last year after the competition as i could not really make up my mind.. and i was also gg for exchange prog.. but now tt i'm back.. and getting myself involved in Dunedin.. i find that i do have a passion for the sport and do want to help in wadever i can..

school starting next week.. timtable seems alright.. luckily since i have no hostel.. already have a goal in mind and hopefully i will work towards it!! =p and stick to some sort of routine for the whole semester la..